Funerals are not like weddings. That is not the place for you to catch up with your friends and relatives, not the place for you to exchange greetings and indulge in joyful conversations.That is not the place for you to introduce your son in laws and daughter in laws or to look for a beautiful bride/groom for your son/daughter. Or this is not the place for u to speak about the pomp and style of your life and celebrations. Hello, please ,show some sympathy for the ones who have lost their beloved,there is someone who may have lost their mother , father, partner or child.
Why even go if you are not bothered, that is not the place for you to display your acting skills. cast away that gloom u have put up on your faces. Attend only if u really are going to miss the deceased, only if u really feel sorry for the one who is bereft, and u wish to console them.
It would have been so much better if that house, on that miserable day had only a few genuine faces rather than so many wailing people transforming the house into a market place.
Remember, this can even happen to you, and its not a must that you need to experience it yourself to feel the pain of others…sympathize at least, if you cant empathize.
And remember , even if u don’t show sympathy at least don’t criticize that they (the bereft)didn’t pay attention to to you at the funeral, or reprimand that they forgot to inform u..
They r in deep pain & it takes a lot of effort to rise again from that agony. At least you can do this bit for them.
[I have experienced this myself, when I lost my mother.]
I have felt that my life is at stand still, the phases are not changing.
After having finished college 2 years and 4 months have passed by, many of my friends joined for post graduation, some of them are working, many are married, having one or 2 kids and yet studying or working, so much is happening in their lives.
The bus had dropped all of us at a point, others moved on, either took a car, a train, a ship, or even walked away and I am standing still where the bus had left me, not able to move in any direction. I have cried, i have envied but not anymore. Now its just that the question comes up, what is god planning for me.
I had done my schooling in Dubai and after college, I have again moved to Dubai, which is why I have not been studying or working, due to the rules here and God hasn’t planned a child for me yet and added to all these he(God) called my mother back to him making me feel even more lonely and helpless
I don’t want to cry anymore, I want to face this life boldly, I know there are people suffering so much, and in their eyes my wailing will be a lot insignificant. But to me, my problems have volume, yet I am trying to outlive them.
My mother always said, for those who don’t have anyone, God will be there for them and am trying to believe her…
All my childhood, what I could feel about my mother was , she is a vampire. she had been suffering from chronic bipolar illness and many a times she had been staying out of our lives, and when with us, all i could remember was the days of terror, her mood swings and all those bad days.
I grew up, passed my 10th, slowly started recognizing her value, but very slowly, I reached college and then i can remember being in love with her, i can remember trying to support her at least at times, against my fathers autonomy, but I don’t know, if i always stood by her. Childhood was like( at least I felt like ) i was brought up by a single parent, mom was neglected but cant say if am to be blamed, is it her illness, is it my fathers approach, cant say,
But now she is gone and i can say, for all the times other than those periods of illness, she used to be the best mother on earth, I don’t know if she loved me as much as she loved her beloved son, but i know she was the best. For what i have done, for not knowing the value of that treasure I had when it was with me, I am suffering now, i feel lonely, i feel I am being punished.
How can I ask for forgiveness, she is gone, I cant pray to her, because I believe, once the soul has gone out of the body, they don’t have any more worldly belongings or attachments , so what could possibly be done.
This is the first of its kind, the first topic that i am planning to discuss with the world.
I am a person who believes in destiny, nothing is in my hands, it is the God who determines what I am supposed to face in this life. The minor details of our life can be managed, but in the broad outline we remain powerless in the face of events that take place and which we cannot control.
Some say that, they have suffered and have taken real effort to reach the place they are in, today. But do all those who suffer, who still work hard amidst all difficulties reach those summits of life.
The motivational books speak about Walt Disney who was fired from a newspaper for lacking imagination, Albert Einstein whose teachers said wouldn’t do much, or Michael Jordan who was cut from his high school basketball team, but there would have been many more like them, who would have strived so much and not reached anywhere.
So is it really your hard work and determination that determines everything.
But this doesnot mean we all have to sit idle and leave God to do all the work. Yes, do our part, and whatever happens accept it. If you are supposed to get it, you will , if not God had not planned that for you.
This rule is applicable to your parents, partner, wealth, health , about anything and everything in life